Christmas! That wonderfully wrenching time of year is upon us again, to be endured like a violent case of hiccups until cured by a New Year's hangover. Not malign, just annoying. After all, it won't kill you, but it can sure make you sore as hell.

As luck would have it, Paracelsus wrote exactly one year ago this week (see December 9, 1996). The topic then was December Birthdays, and it generated more response email than anything else Paracelsus has bothered to post. Maybe you or someone you love is afflicted by DBS (December Birthday Syndrome). Take another look at last year's story; the cause is still a dire one. And remember to mail us your overshadowed birthday story.

Christmas also brings back memories of making cheap ornaments by hand in the living room. Do you remember any of these: clothespin reindeer, walnut shell mice, styrofoam balls wrapped in ribbon, or the ever-popular garland of red and green loops of construction paper? Cheesy though they sometimes seemed, these homely objects become more of a treasure every year, linking us back to the small hands that made them.

One of the best ways to escape the inevitable bummer of commercialized holidays is to make something with your own hands. And the best way to enliven a dispirited Christmas party is to get people to participate, whether by singing, filling in Mad Libs, or simply flinging off their clothes. This week's story is brought to you by St. Frank, a new contributor to the StarChamber. His is a heart-burning... er, heart-warming seasonal tale that includes both handicrafts and joyous performing at a holiday party. The story is presented in two parts: the first half appears below. If you've already read part one, you can click here and let St. Frank's turgid prose propel you to the story's shocking conclusion.

Finally, the StarChamber would like to point out a new feature: subscription. Follow the "Subscribe" link at the bottom of the frame on the left of the screen to find out more. If you can't subscribe automatically and you'd like to be notified when the site has been updated, send us your address and we'll be happy to email you directly each week.

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St. Frank st-frank@starchamber.com The StarChamber