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Unless you were traveling on board the Mars Lander last week, you have probably heard about the week long spectacular match hosted in downtown Seattle, Washington... In an unprecedented no-holds barred, street contest, "The Chief", Stone Cold Norm Stamper and Paul "The Mayor" Schell tag-teamed throughout the week against "The Rampaging Masked Marauders" and the sublimely dangerous "People Dressed As Sea Turtles". What initially looked like a dull bout between the platitude spouting Mayor and the suspiciously dorky Turtles escalated into high drama when the Marauders struck late in the second evening. While most of the crowd was fixated on the mesmerizing chants of the Turtle People (hey, hey, ho, ho), "The Mayor" failed to see the tag and as a result, Stone Cold Stamper was caught flat-footed when the Masked Marauders struck. It was painful to watch as the Marauders turned the streets upside down with Stamper and his puppet storm troopers. The crowd was stunned and then terrified as the cunning Masked Men reeked havoc and left their anarchist mark upon the city. But while the chanting Turtles cheered on the burning dumpsters and lent a hand looting Starbucks, the tide was already turning... The next day Stone Cold Stamper was prepared. After a nasty lambasting by the sharp-tongued devils on NPR first thing in the morning, "The Chief" turned the troops loose to corral the Turtles before their hypnotic chants did further damage. By nightfall the city's politico-duo had regained control of the tear gas stained streets, but not before the local merchants suffered another round of glass smashing and humiliating graffiti. The final days of the match were surprisingly quiet. The massive arrests had weakened the Marauders and the press held The Mayor and The Chief firmly in check. In the final analysis it will be difficult to argue for a clear winner, though the case for picking the losers presents many options. Like so many of the spectacularly over-hyped matches these days, it seems like the real losers in the W.W.T.O. were the people on the side lines. Presently in Seattle, there is no talk of a rematch. * * *
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